For u My Wife

I know I should not write this in front of the world....

But, I feel guilty now...

I know I need a break from too much studying. But, believe me dear...I do this partly because for us.

We are in critical days counting for exam, hard time for me dear...stress but not shown. Depress but never complain and tired but never rest.

I know I am bad, whenever I stress out, I tend to break your heart. I raised my voice. I blamed you...but dear, I never meant to. Please love me and understand me dear.

I still remember when we used to cry together when our goal not achieved...do you still remember when we approached people to join in our biz idea. People laugh and cynically stated that we are 'stupid day dreamer'?

Do you still remember when I sell all my jeans and clothes when I don't have money to eat during our diploma days? I don't want to feel it again dear...

I also still remember when the time we have no money...we sleep in 'empty stomach'. We used to drink mineral water and try to sleep? I want to forget that dear..

I also remember the time when my father bang his head on the wall...headache while keep searching money for us 4...it's time for me to be a TRUE SON.

I also still remember when you, me and our true friend ANNE holding hands and closing our eyes dreaming the future...we are still young yet we are too strong. I still keep my dream here dear, for both of us...

Do you still remember, when all of you and my closest friend called for Matriculation. But leaving me 'Failed and Alone'. I fell very disappointed...but I keep promises to myself that I will be strong.

Dear,

Please forgive me for my rudeness these couple of days. I didn't meant to do that...believe me.

but, understand me dear...every time I closed my eyes, those memories come. Those burning desire burned. And, those dreams sparks...

Understand me dear,

I need to be focus...but still, I need you beside me.

I Love U.